Onomatopoeias are a wonderful thing.

•April 24, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Funny, I thought the next song I was going to be completely addicted to would be less, shall we say, embarassing? 90s? Horrifically cheesy? And let’s not even get to the disturbingly garish and kitschy music video.

In terms of structure, “Witch Doctor” is an interesting song: a continuous, upbeat melody  with bits of bizarre sounds (boings, kissy sounds, spontaneous a cappella, horrendous caricatures of Elvis, etc.) thrown in for the hell of it.  Let’s be honest here though: it’s a very irritating, repetitive song, with absolutely no musical or emotional value.

But as the title indicates it, onomatopoeias are a wonderful thing: the sheer idiocy and incoherence of the song, I think, is what makes it so catchy. The silliness of the chorus, you could say, is really the core of the song: had it made sense, it would be a boring, run-of-the-mill dance song. But it doesn’t, and instead we have a universally known song, used in dance recitals, pathetic excuses for movies, and many other kinds of questionable media that I will not cite, for everyone’s sake.

I can imagine this post might induce postively incredulous reactions at the song I chose (I apologize profusely, Kmi), but all I really have to say is this: ooh eeh ooh aah aah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang.

~Ady

P.S: As you’ve probably imagined, especially from having watched all the links, I’ve become thoroughly sick of this song. Onomatopoeias are a wonderful thing, but only on a strictly temporary basis.

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That’s Just the Way I Roll.

•April 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

ok ok OK…before I start, allow me to say that I am neither one of those sociopathic internet zombies  who starts groups on Facebook called  “I BET I CAN FIND 1,000,000 PEOPLE WHO HAAATE THE JONAS BROTHERS, OH YES I CAN, OH YES I FUCKING CAN”, nor a psychopath who joins Jonas  Brothers fanclubs to rant about how “dey r such fucking fags how de fuck can u like dem?” , nor am I even one of those people who leaves the creepy comments about how “i will DESTROY the jonas brothers” (actual quotation from blogger from Illinois. They really don’t like them over there).

You see, I don’t hate them. I just don’t particularly like them. I can listen to the occasional tune on the radio, but their songs,as it is for many Disney Channel stars, are just so underwhelming in originality (they took Kim Wilde’s 80’s monster hit “Kids in America” and substituted the word “America” for “Future”; lesson learned, the new recipe for a chart-topping song) that you really won’t catch me sporting a TEAM JONAS T-shirt,  or flaunting a Jonas Brothers traveling bag  (I wonder when this merchandise madness will stop, seriously) . I really do put myself in the middle-ground: I will tell you that Lovebug is a sweet croon I like and enjoy listening to, but I will also laugh at how questionably and hilariously kinky they look, what with tearing at each others shirts in leather jackets, on the cover of “Rolling Stone” magazine.

God! Girls! Guitars! GAH, how ridiculous!

God! Girls! Guitars! GAH, how ridiculous!

So why is this in the wonderful Hate category, if I am so neutral? One word: fans.

The JBF (Jonas Brothers Fan) is a an amazing, almost otherwordly, creature: it runs on pure hormonal highs, adrenaline and the occasional Red Bull. Often sporting hot pink shirts and too tight pants, this creature can always be seen doing one of the following:

1) texting her BFFFF about a new JB CD, merchandise, concert or lock of hair available on eBay.

2) Absent-mindedly drawing JBros+*name*=LOVE LOVE LOVE on her binder.

3) Gushing about how “freakin’ HAWT” Joe is.

4) Talking about fighting for a cure for diabetes, because otherwise Nick might not be able to sing anymore.

5) How uh-mazing they were in Camp Rock.

Excuse me, I can’t make it to ten: I’m feeling waves of nausea overwhelm me as I place myself in their rhinestone-covered shoes.

They terrify me, they really do: the screeching, the hormones, the obsession, and the J-14 magazines that make up the Jonas Brothers Fan  give me the creepers. Case in point, when the JBros fans attack. That kind of blind, savage lust/love/worship is not my thing, but hey, that’s just the way I roll.

~Ady

Slim Shady isn’t actually back.

•April 23, 2009 • 1 Comment

 

We Made You

We Made You

 

This song I hate with a passion, and ‘twas impossible to resist the temptation of writing about its multiple dreadful aspects.

We Made You – Eminem (released April 7th, 2009)

Let me justify myself. The lyrics get on my nerves. Was Eminem sponsored by pharmacies or something ? He keeps on talking about medication : Zantac, anti-acid, ventolin inhaler, Xenedrine, Retalin, Alfalfa…

 

Back by popular demand […]

Get ready to tackle any task that is at hand”

Back by popular demand ? We were asking for the witty Eminem with nice beats and positively hilarious lyrics, not the new let’s-introduce-a-piano-chorus-in-this-already-terrible-song-because-the-brainless-lyrics-aren’t-sufficiently-annoying Eminem. And yes, the piano chorus ticks me off, I simply cannot stand it. Not only that, but the irregular pauses he makes in between words or verses only contribute to ruining the already mediocre “rhythm”.

“Get ready to tackle any task that is at hand”, I might complete with “Like deal with hoards of unhappy fans”. Because yes, I am extremely unhappy. Is that all Eminem could come up with during an almost 5 year break ? Sheesh.

 

And what was up with the sempiternal name-dropping ? Why mention half of Hollywood ? Was he afraid he wouldn’t get enough attention if he hadn’t been dissing celebrities for 4 minutes and 47 painful seconds ?

(Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson, Ellen Degeneres, Sarah Palin, Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer, Jessica Alba, Elvis, Amy Winehouse, Blake Fielder-Civil).

By the way, half the stories are fucking outdated.

 

I’m simply hoping his album Relapse, to be released in May, won’t be as big of a disappointment.

 

– Kmi

Let’s Blow the Stars from the Sky

•April 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

The Jesus & Mary Chain are not the most palatable band in the world: Jim Reid’s scratchy voice combined with repetitive, almost babbled, lyrics and noisy guitar riffs make for a band that doesn’t appeal to everyone. Personally, I love them: “Psychocandy” definitely goes up there as one of my favorite albums of all time, a truly fantastic one that nails  the alternative genre perfectly, almost down to an art form. Nevertheless, I’ve never found any of their songs universally appealing, something invigorating and loud, yet sentimental, to listen to first thing in the morning. Until now.

“Head On” from their album “21 Singles” is an art form in itself: it is an insanely upbeat and catchy song, with starry-eyed brilliant lyrics (makes  you wanna feel/ makes you wanna try/ makes you wanna blow the stars from the sky), yet retains that same touch of wicked as in all their songs (and the way I feel tonight/I could die I wouldn’t mind), and the same ever-wonderful noisy guitars. Reid’s scratchy vocals add the right tinge of emotion (despite his deadpan face) and are a pleasure, for everyone, to listen to.

But don’t take my word for it,  have a listen:

Head On by The Jesus and Mary Chain

~Ady

The concept.

•April 22, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Two words: music/discovery.

Music discovery.

Frankly, the both of us are tired of hearing the same old synthesized jack on our iTunes, our radio stations (no dials, we have iPods now), and we’ve decided to speak about it.

We feel they’re many people like ourselves out there, who want to crank up better tuneage, yet feel that there are an overwhelming amount of blogs run by psychotic music wizs who seem to take their taste in music a little too seriously. (Understatement, much?)

Well no worries, because we have arrived.

We’ll post all of the songs we currently can’t get enough of, and we think are worth listening to; we’ll tell you what we like and what we don’t like. And here’s the best part: you can feel free to disagree! We won’t kill you for it, and are, in fact, interested, especially since we don’t know where you live and can’t get our hands on a gun (jk, jk).
And updates won’t be scarce, we promise.

Because we’re pretty sure there’s enough music out there for at least one song a day.

– Kmi&Ady

Long live the music

Long Live Music.